LOST~

Assalamualaikum wbt...

Hm, I don't know what to write in my blog. I've been leaving it about 1 month already. During this period of time, I had been through a lot of things. Haha, not so many but at least there were a few incidents that I'm going to remember, not forever, but they will be lingering in my mind for let's say in  a LONGGGG  time...hee

Ok, let's talk about my problem right here.. I'm thinking that I have lost a little bit of my spirits..mostly because I have not been to any usrah for about a few months and yeah, I felt so far away from Islam. Urghh, I am scared you know.. I miss Unimas..I miss my USRAH there.. and of course I miss my friends..Kak long, Kak Chik , Mai. Huhu.. Nobody here give me the advice like Kak long gave me there. I need a friend that can just point out my mistakes and tell me what i need to fix. But seriously, here, I didn't found any. *cry*

Sometimes, I keep thinking is this the right path for me? Do I really destined to be a doctor? I don't know if I have the qualification or not. Students here are very hardworking. What are we kidding? Medic students are never lazy, unlike me...*cry..cry*

I'm fear of disappointing my parents, especially my dad. He really wants me to be a doctor one day. I felt so pity for him. Why I must become like this? Where has my competitive spirit gone? Will I graduate as a doctor in 5 years? These thought had bother me since I came here..DAMN!

I'm not as hardworking as my sisters and brothers or even my friends also..

That is my problem and I am scared because of my laziness, I will never succeed in life. and as I can see, I keep going down this road already. Will I ever have a wake up call?

O Allah, I'm sorry because I have disappointed You many times. I keep missing the golden opportunity that You always give me. Please help me, Ya Rabb..

Please show me the right path and give me spirit to seek your knowledge and may I become a good muslimah and always in Your care.. Ameen.


Thanks for reading..
Kbai...

mood: tension..